I Teach for Free Entertainment is a collection of conversations I’ve had with my junior high students over the years. The title comes from my standard response when asked why I teach. You seriously can’t pay for this kind of comedy, tragedy, and drama. Junior high students are so fun because there is literally no filter between their brains and their mouths. They are brutally honest which is incredibly refreshing, hilarious, insightful, and occasionally hurtful as the mood strikes. And I love every second of it! This book is divided into categories of conversations. This section is called Excuses.

Excuses

A student walks up to me while I’m monitoring the hallway: 

Mariah (from all the way down the hall): “Miss Brailey!”

Me: “What?”

A bit closer: “Miss Brailey!”

Me: “What?”

Almost to my room: “In case I’m late, I was talking to you.”

Me (to Ethan who is eating over my garbage can before the bell rings): “What are you doing?!? You can’t have food in here.”

Ethan: “I’m a lost soul in need of guidance.”

Oy ve….

Cayden:  “Nick pushed me in another class.”

Nick:  “You were bullying a kid in a wheelchair!”

Cayden:  “Well, he bullied Arianna when she was in a wheelchair.  I was just teaching him the world is not a kind place.”

Me (Seeing student in the afternoon who was not in my class in the morning): “Izaak, you skipped my class. Where were you this morning?”

Izaak: “I overslept. Nobody woke me up.”

Me: “Seriously?!? You’re in eighth grade.”

Izaak: “Well, you told me to get more sleep…You can’t have it both ways…”

(He frequently fights sleep in my class, so I have, indeed, told him he needs to sleep more at night—meaning go to bed earlier.).

Conversation as students were writing their goodbye letters (last journal):

Me: “Ethan, you’re not writing.”

Ethan: “Yes, I am.” (Paper is blank)

Me: “Your paper is blank.”

Ethan: “I wrote it with my tears.”

Me: “That’s a new one.”

Students wandering the hall.

Me:  “Um.  This is the second time I’ve seen you two.  What are you doing?”

Joaquin:  “We’re spending quality time together.”

Me:  “Nice.  I‘m pretty sure you’re supposed to be in class.”

Joaquin:  “We only took one lap around this time…”

Me.  “Um.  Class…

Joaquin:  “Yeah, we probably should head back.”

Honesty of Junior Highers:

During silent writing time, a student leans over to her peer:

Me:  “Madison!”

Madison:  “I wasn’t talking.”

Me:  (Raises eyebrows.)

Madison:  “I was getting ready to, but you said my name first.”