What’s your definition of romantic?

Romantic, by definition, means idealized. Seeing the best in a situation—sometimes even seeing things that aren’t there.

We use it, however, to refer to a special kind of attention or affection: The things that make us go Awww. Sweet sentimental things that have that other worldly feel. Ideal.

This is the major reason I wrote my Ideal Courtship series. I wanted something that was truly romantic (sweet and sentimental) without being the sexualized, unrealistic things we usually see. I started writing it when I had a pregnant 8th grader in class. It was the era of Hunger Games, Twilight, and Divergent—all favorites of mine, but all of which portrayed romance as making out in bed. In those books, that’s where it stopped. In real life, not so much. I recognized in that moment that most of the popular literature had portrayed romance as sex, which is a partial truth, dangerous in the hands of barely adolescent girls. We were setting girls up that this was love or a standard to copy. I’ve had so many conversations with so many teens (initiated by them) about their love lives, disillusionment, hurt, and betrayal that I wanted to address some of those experiences and the lies we believe in relationships. So, I wrote a love story set in the background of a world involved in a war most people are oblivious to. Hopefully, it gives insight into the kind of relationships we want and the kind we want to avoid. In the meantime, I’ll keep having open conversations with kids to help them deal with this conglomerated thing we call relationships.